Whirlpools of You-Know-What

I propose that a quantitative measurement of the nature of our first jobs be expressed as a percent similarity to ChemE 462, Plant Design. For example, downstream refinery jobs like Alison's and Jaime's would measure about 85%. Ariel's truck vibration gig would score in the teens. My job? Well, since the scale ranges from 0 to 100% by definition, and remembering what we learned in Design about the rule-breaking powers of estimation, my job is a FACT-backed 15,000% similar to ChemE 462.

Apologies to those of you who have already heard most of this as I make my case. Words verbatim from my boss multiple times (even an hour ago today), the company is in the business of "plus or minus fifty percent." Anything tighter would be preposterously accurate. Yes, I use Aspen and am now the guy to ask when you don't understand what an error message means, though the only thing I can explain is that Joe did all our Aspen. I size pumps, heat exchangers, compressors, vessels of all orientations, columns, but obviously not valves. I do this taking into account LMTD, NPSH, L/D, % flood (82), and such techniques as:

Me: Morning, Skinny Version of Alf. Center. How was your weekend?
SVAC: [grunt]
Me: For these air coolers, should I use the values HYSYS gave me?
SVAC: Those seem high. Just use 150 for everything.
[SVAC walks away, passing my female cubemate, then stops at her desk.]
SVAC: Oh, so how was your weekend?

Guess I can't say college didn't prepare me. It also gave me ample warning that the real world is extremely strict when it comes to effective presentation of information. I realized this on Day 1 when browsing a DOE report:


But, sarcastic bitterness aside, this is what I expected when I signed up for it, and I think it will turn out well. It is still a little slow, with a lot of background reading on topics that have yet to reach the foreground, but it's picking up. The young people are laid back, the old people are a little quirky. Actual line from an email from my boss:

"BUT countersign per suggested below??? What do you think????"

Number of question marks used is exact. He either has really heavy fingers or is just dying to find out the answer.

Living in SF is also as expected, i.e. fantastic. Ariel and I have an apartment with views (with an S). The giant PFD is hanging in my room. I walk to work in 20 minutes. And this weekend we went to a chili cook-off sponsored by strippers (not the metal columns; the ones that dance on them) followed by museum-hopping. I can get used to that.

You'll have to see for yourself though. Is it January 16 yet?

See you then,
Derrick